Brown Gives Up, Returns to Zen

April 1, 2013 – Crazifornia heard today from credible sources that Jerry Brown will soon resign as governor and return to his earlier pursuit of Nirvana somewhere other than Sacramento.

“If I can’t push California at least a little bit in the right direction – and Lord knows, I haven’t – then no one can,” Brown told our source, who ran into the soon-to-be-ex-governor Saturday at a coffee shop in Williams, California, near the governor’s Colusa ranch .

Jerry Brown meditating at his Colusa ranch.

Jerry Brown meditating at his Colusa ranch.

We’re told Brown continued, “The very thought that I considered myself capable of fixing California is an indication that I am lost in my ego. It’s time to move my inner being out of Sacramento and back to a simpler way, so it’s bye-bye bogus budgets and last-minute legislation and hello mediation mat.”

We called two prominent California politicos with the news and found them shocked, but respectful of Brown’s ability to at least appear he’s doing more than most recent governors toward improving California’s desperate condition.

“Sure, he promoted the high speed rail fiasco in spite of all logic and his attack on public employee pensions was more of an ‘excuse me’ than the needed frontal assault, but he was better than Gray Davis,” said state GOP leader Jim Brulte in one of the best examples of damning by faint praise we’ve heard recently.

Senate president pro tem (and likely candidate to replace Brown) Darryl Steinberg told us, “I had to fight Jerry from time to time because he kept trying to look too much like he was actually trying to do something to slow down our union, trial lawyer and trust fund baby benefactors, but even so, he was better than Schwarzenegger.”  Wow – faint praise seems to be the new trend in Sacramento!

We expect Steinberg, Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsome and two or three hundred other hangers on, goof balls and wannabes will run for the vacant seat in a special election currently scheduled for October 31.