Homeland Insecurity

Cyber HomelandHomeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano has joined the line of senior Obama Administration officials to scurry off that particular ship of state. She’s elected to join another troubled ship, becoming president of the University of California system.

Fortunately for her, the legislature just bumped UC’s appropriation by 5% (equal to $142 million), with two 4% bumps to follow in the next two fiscal years. That may keep her from having to oversee a tuition increase for a few years – but it won’t put a dent in what’s sure to be one of her biggest headaches – the $20 billion UC doesn’t have, but needs to meet its retirement pension obligations.

Thinking about that is no fun, so let’s think of some other things Napolitano may bring to UC:

  • Will there be full body scans at the classroom door? If so, UC might be able to offset some of its pension funding gap by selling the images to Internet filth-peddlers.
  • Will UC campus police be trained to pat down old lady profs and  young prodigies?
  • Could UC’s research labs be directed to work on perfecting the “behavior scanners” Napolitano recommended be installed at malls and sporting events? After all, the UC system hosts some big sporting events.
  • Will any fences ever be built on any UC campuses?
  • Will radical pro-Shariah Muslim extremist students be treated with fawning respect while Conservative students are flagged for extra scrutiny by campus police?
  • Hmmm …. could Napolitano resolve UC’s chronic budget problems and pension funding voids by simply running guns to Mexico?

Welcome to Crazifornia, Madame Secretary. I think you’ll find yourself comfortably surrounded by like-thinking peers … unfortunately.

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